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In 17,000 gifs or less.

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Yes both. You do the math.

Buttons stolen from Steal These Buttons

This will now be the section where I let all you fine folks know what I listen to on my iPod repeatedly. I'm sure you are entirely too thrilled.

Right now, pick something by David Bowie, Manson (Shirley or Marilyn), Underground Rebels, Loving Dead or Todd Kerns. That's what I am listening to.

Yeah, maybe I'll put something here again later. Start holding your breath...... NOW! ha!

Mad Cow
Ill Will Press (Foamy)
Troy Dillinger
Tommy Hale
Adagio Flavors Tea

Shane - 9/10/2003

Bobby - 6/28/2004

Crush of the Week Victims


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Tuesday, October 04, 2011
Moving on

I want to move. I want out of Vegas like yesterday. So, the decision has been made: my comfort zone is going to get blown the fuck up. To be completely honest though, I have been doing little things here & there that are outside my comfort zone. When all this break-up shit (which I instigated) went down I decided changes were in order.

The vacation by myself was a huge thing for me. I was in some place where I knew exactly one person & was moderately acquainted with another. Turns out I got to spend a lot of time by myself since the one person I knew couldn't man up & tell me he had a girlfriend. Still not really sure how that should have affected hanging out with me unless she's the jealous type. Who knows, maybe the sex is that awesome or maybe she lacks a gag reflex. He disguised it as hanging out with his family, but I t'ain't buying it. Whatever, I said my piece, it's over, were back to being BFFs.

I got off track. Go figure. So, vacation.... yes, comfort zone. I did pretty much everything by myself. Two nights I went drinking with Jeb (that's what I shall call my redneck (his word not mine) BFF), but for the most part I did for myself. I sat on the beach A LOT. It was a tad bit scary being alone with my thoughts, but I think I needed it. A lot of decisions can be made when the only thing harassing you are birds & that is from a distance. I did a shit ton of people watching, but the entire time my wall was up & I was on guard. Maybe it was too much out of my comfort zone for one time. The only thing I didn't really like was eating by myself. Always makes me feel like a reject.

So, back to the decision regarding moving. I have a short list of places I am considering. One is about four hours away the other two are in the south which I dearly miss. One of the two in the south is a dark horse at the moment & will probably fall off the list shortly. That really leaves the two. Both are places I adore for different reasons. One place would involve the chance of hurricanes. That doesn't really bother me, but the economy down there does. I mean, the economy sucks everywhere, but I don't want to have to start sucking.... nevermind.

The thought of going either place scares the living shit out of me. Like, I get all worked up just thinking about it. For the first time in my entire life I would be on my own. No roommate. No family in the immediate area to fall back on. One locale would mean only one friend to depend on & he has a life. The other place there would be absolutely no one to depend on. Then I have to remember that I am a fucking adult. Adults live on their own. Adults don't piss themselves at the thought of being alone. Right?

Want to know what made me come to this decision? When I was flying in from my last vacation I got physically ill at the sight of Vegas. Seriously. It took everything I had in me not to puke. It was that bad. So, on a Jet Blue plane however many thousands of feet in the sky above Las Vegas I made the decision to move. Honestly, I thought by now I would have changed my mind, but I haven't. That being said, within a year I will be moving on. It will be a brand new start for me. I'm scared to death & excited at the same time. Now if I could just manage the zipline in downtown. My failed attempt at ziplining is a story for another day.

Posted at 08:56 am by Zombie
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File under: Adventures, Etc., Rednecks

Monday, October 03, 2011
Just because....

Just because I am in the mood...

Posted at 12:37 pm by Zombie
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File under: Because I can

On Food

Food is a good thing, bad thing for me. Well, that might not be the right way to put it. It is more like a love/hate relationship.I love food. A lot. However, I hate what it does to me.

Let's take Sunday for example. I had a horrible food day. I had a mini Payday, several pieces of toast (toasted sandwich thins actually), some rice & some turkey. Oh, then there were those little Parmesan toast thingies from Spain. I ate too much food. Normally I am very, very controlled with my food. Like OCD controlled. I log every last thing that goes into my pie hole. Everything is weighed, measured & portioned. EVERYTHING.

The food seems like the only thing I have complete control over in my life. Yeah, I know, not really a healthy way to look at things, but it is the truth. I can't control who likes me or the events that are going to take place in a day or even who is going to stab me emotionally, but I can control what I consume. I can keep the calories & carbohydrates in check. Only I can let me get fat again. No one else can do it for me. I am the one in control of that.

Honestly, it is probably one of the only times I actually want to be in complete & total control. That may sound contradictory to earlier statements, but let's be honest here.... I can't control what is going to happen to me. I can't control who is going to find me attractive or who is going to like my brash personality. And really, fuck 'em if they don't. Their loss. Kind of lonely with that thinking, but it is just the way I am.

You know what the awesome thing about food is & what makes it so hard to fight the awesome? It rarely lets you down. Food is a constant in your life. When shit was bad all those years the food was my constant. The cheesecake never changes. You know what you are going to get. The food is never going to yell at you, blame you, tell you that you are stupid. The food is just there. Always there. Always quiet.

There are still times that I really, really want an In 'N Out animal style burger & fries. Every once in a while I will have one. However I don't let myself have one every other day. I love good pasta. I had about a half an order of pasta last week & that was the first time since January. Bread.  Holy fuck I love the bread. If there is some on the table when I go out to eat I will have a few pieces, but that's it. I don't even keep it in the house any longer. I am that fucking boring.

Even when I went on vacation I didn't let myself go nuts. Ate more than I should have & even had a pizza one night, but still managed to lose weight. At the same time I still saw my OCD tendencies creeping in. Particularly when I went to lunch with a friend one day. It was to a place we have here in Vegas. I went for the one thing on the menu that I knew fit into my way of eating. I was on vacation for fuck's sake & I couldn't even eat badly.

Don't worry, I still love food. I just don't hang out with it all the time like I once did. It is a toxic, but necessary relationship. I've been forced to put parameters on it, but we still party on occasion.

Posted at 12:00 am by Zombie
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File under: Because I can, Shrinking

Saturday, October 01, 2011

So I went on vacation mid-August. It's amazing what a few days away from everything can do for ya. It can also fuck everything up like whoa.

While I was on vacation I got to spend some time with someone that has ended up becoming one of my best friends. The relationship was suppose to have a different dynamic, but that's not what happened. However, that's OK. He's someone that I am fairly sure will be in my life for a very long time.

I was also able to meet up with someone I had only known online. That was probably the most enjoyable time I've had with anyone in a long time. Of course, intelligent conversation ALWAYS makes me happy & that's what I had a lot of. It included an amazingly beautiful botanical garden & a conversation about evolutionary theory. Trust me, those few hours were the happiest I had been in years. It's the simple things for me. Really.

I liked where I went on vacation so much I've already made arrangements to return in November. I loved the company, but really fell in love with the area. So, this time I'm going to spend longer there & wander more. I have my reasons. Oh, also, my BFF is taking me to a hockey game and Disneyland. I've never been to the "happiest place on earth." Probably because I am a disgruntled bitch with an attitude, but whatever. I shall spread my gloom soon enough.. Ha!

So, about non-vacation life. Yeah, it is very odd right now. No longer am I in that relationship I had no business being in in the first place. I spent 15 years being told a lot of things that made me lose myself. it happens, it's over, I'm not going to dwell on it. No point in doing so.

Oh yeah, I'm also down something like 70 pounds since January. Still a bit doughy, but working on it. Have about 15 or 20 to go to be accepting of my weight. Still not too comfortable with the compliments. Probably has something to do with that wall I have built up.... I don't trust any of them. I shouldn't be that way, but it keeps me from getting squashed emotionally. It probably also keeps me out of jail since I have an affinity for violence.

With any luck I will be by here more often. That's what I do when I am lonely, I talk to my imaginary friends in the computer. Lucky you.

Posted at 03:49 pm by Zombie
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File under: Adventures, Because I can, Etc.

Friday, June 24, 2011

For the first time ever I am going to take an honest to goodness vacation. Not only that, but I am going to the fucking beach. And to top it off, I am going all by my lonesome. Not soon enough though.

Posted at 12:30 am by Zombie
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File under: Etc., Open letter

Wednesday, March 10, 2010
When it rains it pours

I have come to the realization that I have entirely too much shit. I've been weeding it out, but damn. The move is this weekend. I have three days to finish packing said shit. I'm screwed.

The packing is going. Slow and steady I suppose. Hit a snafu when Rusty got terribly sick. I lost packing days and it has put my finances in a state of utter chaos. I'll live, I always do.

The Weenasarus was very sick. Had to call the Weenus Ambulance Company also known as Ang to take him to the emergency vet. They didn't know if he would make it through the night. Basket case does not even begin to describe my state. When we went to visit him on Sunday night he looked like he was ready to give up. His state kept me from eating for a couple of days. He went to his regular vet on Monday morning. A myriad of problems were diagnosed. Chief among them, pancreatitis, bladder stones and hypothyroidism. We think everything is under control now, but he now has to be on a low fat diet forever. He is not amused.

All of this started late on Saturday. After he had been to the vet on Saturday morning. The vet was impressed with him stating that he was in really good shape for being almost 16 years old. Then he got his vaccinations. They gave him three. At once. Apparently it created a perfect storm. Everything hitting his immune system at once wreaked hell and havoc. After a lot of reading I realized that both the vet and I screwed up. There was absolutely no reason that Rusty had to have all of his vaccinations at one time. I should have known enough to ask for a staggered schedule. She should have offered one as well just given his age. When she saw him in there when she came back from her days off she thought the vaccines had caused it.

So if you never listen to another piece of advice I offer here, please at least think about this one: if you have a small to medium sized pet or an older pet, please ask your veterinarian to stagger their vaccinations.

Posted at 08:21 am by Zombie
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File under: Etc., I like weiners!

Monday, February 15, 2010
Betcha thought I was dead

So, yeah, I'm not dead. The "spot" turned out to be "nothing" according to my physician. To which I replied, "thanks for scaring the piss out of me for 'nothing.'" She was not amused, but then neither was I.

All of this shit made me realize something. For approximately the past five years I have been hiding. Give it a looksee. About the time I started at my current place of employment I ceased posting on a regular basis. Why? Because I was scared. Something about working for a state subsidized agency made me revert to my 15 year old self. I was afraid to voice my opinions for fear that someone where I work might find out about my blog. Fuck that.

With all the budget bullshit that is going on I really don't give a flying monkey's ass what they think or might find. I go to work every single day wondering if it is going to be my last. There is a very real possibility that my entire department could cease to exist. So fuck it. Its back on bitches.

I miss my blog.

I miss talking to all the people from around this joint.

Most of all I miss me. A lot. Yeah, I know, I've said that before, but seriously, I do.

The posts until mid-March will be sporadic at best as I am finally moving to a new bat cave. Packing 11 years worth of shit is mind boggling to say the least. Yet, there is so much I want to put here for the trolls to shit on. Because, you know, if you post it they will come.

First up we will back track to Halloween and the uber awsome trip to New Orleans. Did I mention there is a monster gay halloween event? And yes, I have pictures. Sausage pizza anyone?

Monday, December 14, 2009

This is all Miss Ginger's fault.

One of the best scenes in a movie. Ever.

Posted at 04:16 pm by Zombie
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File under: *squee*, Wayback Machine

Thursday, December 10, 2009
Timing fail

Let's add insult to injury shall we?

I am ready for this year to be over. It hasn't been good by any stretch of the imagination. Sure, there have been highlights, but that's to be expected. I would hope.

Monday I went to the doctor for all the physical crap. Blood work, x-rays, etc. Yesterday I get a call that they need to speak to me about my results. Fuck. Me. A call that quick is never a good thing. Of course they don't bother to call me at work, they just left a message on my machine along with the one from the imaging place. Yeah, I know I have to have a CT scan before I know why. Nice. Timing fail.

I slept last night, in theory. I lost count of how many times I woke up. The doctor's office opened at 7:30am and I managed to make it until 7:33am before I called. There is a spot on my right lung that they want to look at. My CT is scheduled for Monday morning.

On the way in I was discussing it with my friend. She proceeded to tell me it was my own fault because I smoke. I went off. Does she think I don't know this?! Thank you for being a cunt a 7:25am. Fuck you and have a nice day.

With any luck it will just be scar tissue. I recently had a bought of bronchitis/URI so yeah. My whole little world is all kinds of fucked up right now.

Posted at 08:21 am by Zombie
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File under: Etc.

Thursday, December 03, 2009
In which I whine... go figure

A couple weeks ago GJB was informed that he would no longer be employed full-time. Don't worry, they didn't fire him. He will "probably" get to work three days a week. So now he is on-call all the time. Makes doing things a tad difficult. Ang is always willing to go and do things, but her car is barely designed to carry two people much less bulk items from a warehouse store. Of course, now he jokes that he is like a doctor and if his beeper goes off he has to run. heh

I cannot get into the holidays at this point. I have been trying. Nothing seems to work. Maybe I need to find a nice elf to screw or something. Last year by this time my Christmas cards were already on their way. This year, I haven't even looked at cards. I have this completely overwhelmed feeling and I am not quite sure why. I know I am thinking too much again. Or rather, as usual.

Nothing on my list has been accomplished. Nothing. Just in case I didn't already look like a whiner I can now appear to be a whiny lazy loser. Which, I suppose, I am. I really, really need to get rid of a bunch of crap. Just toss it.

I have also decided that I need out of this city and not just on vacation. This place sucks your soul out one agonizing molecule at a time. It won't happen today or even tomorrow, but eventually.

So now, after all that whining and rambling.... For the first time ever, in the history of all that is Zombie, I do believe that I will have something akin to a New Year's resolution. Doesn't mean it will make it past the first week, but, you know. I think I am going to give it a shot. Attempt to give myself some structure and theoretical boundaries. We'll see.

Maybe I should mention to everyone around the Zombie workplace that there will be nothing other than small tokens from me this year unless I get off my lazy ass and make something. Why? Because I am going to spend the pittance I was intending to use for office gifts to make care packages. Again, something that will go on the list and I hope to be able to do once a month.

Posted at 08:45 am by Zombie
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File under: Etc., Vegas...errr... hell

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