Entry: It occurs to me... Monday, December 02, 2013

This blog has been here a long time. I've been doing this shit for ten plus years. My whimsical sarcastic musings have been available to the world. I could possibly be profiled as somewhat psychotic. I know I could be profiled as mental. Why? Because, well, I am.

For a long period of time this place sucked. I just didn't give a fuck. My soul was slowly being sucked out and I was allowing it to happen. It wasn't fun. I knew it was happening and I allowed it. Yep, I sucked as a human being. I was miserable. Luckily I hid it well. Then one day the dam broke. There were cracks for a while, but you can fix cracks. Well, you can only repair them so often. Then, one day, the whole fucking thing just blows up. Like the first piss in the morning, once it starts you have no way of stopping it.

Several times I vowed to get "me" back. Bullshit. I was just trying to convince myself to grow some fucking balls. It doesn't work that way. Either your balls drop or they don't. You can't will them. You have to be ready for them. I was so far gone I scared my balls away. Take a minute to think about that.

I. Scared. My. Balls. Away.

For whatever reason I found myself incapable of defending my own sensibilities. It was bullshit. I turned into a pussy. A giant, subservient pussy. Do you know how ashamed that makes you feel when you finally accept it? Yeah, you kind of feel like dog shit that went through a lawn mower and then got set on fire. How not awesome is that?

So, anyway, fuck that shit. Fuck introspection. Fuck being all moody and bullshit. Bring on the redneck stories!  Why? Because the truth is stranger than fiction, bitches. That's why.


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